:-(

Not really sure what to do anymore. I feel so bad all the time, medication relieves some of my pain but adds so much to the fatigue...i'm actually thinking of looking into disability because I've already had to go down in my hours because I just can't handle my job anymore and I still have a hard time, i don't know how much longer I can do it at all. The doctor said that the arthritis is already in my hands and every time they cramp up when I'm grooming a dog I see that rheumatoid commercial with the lady with the gnarled up hands in my head and I get upset. I just imagine how much this job is accelerating the degeneration and it scares me.

My new family doctor suggested botox injections to relieve my jaw pain...When John (my husband) went to bethesda for all his medical tests he said that some of the guys there got botox for headaches. hmmm...we'll see. I feel sorry for whichever girl in doctor langans office has to fax my records lol.

short update

Yes, I have rheumatoid disease which is why I had a relapse. The drugs they're going to put me on sound pretty scary but i'm trying not to think of it. I have felt like crap since I had to go off of the steroids that I was on for about 3 weeks. The steroids were the final test to make completely sure I have rheumatoid. I don't see getting my jaw broken again right now, I would be too afraid of a relapse to happen again if I would have to go off of the meds when we decide to get pregnant. These drugs are VERY toxic and I can't get pregnant while on them :-(

I had sinus surgery a week ago and got the splints out of my nose today and it's amazing to be able to breathe like this!

I wonder how many people/bloggers that went through surgery at the same time as me still get on their blogs?

I got married to a very amazing man on valentines day :-)))

Happy monday everyone!

Dr. Langan

Is so funny and sweet to me
Dr. Langan: So how have you been feeling since last week?
me: well, it really hurt for the first couple of days but it's getting better..
Dr. L: haha, well if you had seen what I did to you last week you'd know why it hurt so bad!
LOL
and he's so sweet he kept saying how I was too cute to be stressed or in so much pain...awwww

Bleh. i'm about to get a cold :-/

weird..

anaesthesia...
usually when I start to come out of it, i freak out emotionally and bawl like crazy even though I can't even really open my eyes. I don't know why...it's very strange. and this time I cried and hyperventilated...they kept trying to calm me down and get me to breathe normal but I couldn't. I could not control it. so weird. when I googled it a few people did say they did the same thing. I wonder why.
My jaw still hurts and i can't open very wide, less than before. i just hope it heals and gets better.

arthrocentesis

Tomorrow morning. woot! anaesthesia!

i'm getting an arthrocentesis done next wednesday...yey more anaesthesia! sooo...anyone want to donate to "Corey can't afford anymore freakin medical bills" fund??