Take that Germans!!!

...

(sorry to any germans looking at my blog that aren't from a porn site)

I'm done!



Before..

AFTER

Changes

Well, I'm moving into my very own apartment today...it will be the first time I live by myself and I'm very excited. I get my braces off on wednesday and I'm going to ask for copies of all of my pictures and X-Rays so I can share with ya'll. I may not be able to blog again until monday though, it was the soonest the brighthouse guy could get to me so no internet for a week for me :-( Hope everyone is having a good day! It's almost Christmas! Remember that Jesus is the reason for it all :-)

YEYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

I saw my orthodontist today, and guess what??!?!?!?! I get my braces off next week!!!!!!!!!! a whole 4 months ahead of schedule!!!!!!!!! I didn't have any elastics from my ortho after surgery...and only like 2 weeks of them from the surgeon (to keep my bite in the splint). Yeyyy!!! my surgeon must be a miracle worker or something :-D
I did have a minor panic attack as they required the rest of the payment today, but that's ok, it's worth it.
I'm really freaking out about impressions though, I could just see my jaws coming loose when they pull that play doh out of your mouth....how was that for anyone else? you survived impressions 3 mos after surgery?

So I can eat mostly whatever I want which came in handy today :). I have noticed that I try really hard to chew with my jaw pushed back as far as I can...almost like I'm trying to make it feel like it did when my bite was soo off. when I actually thought about it, I just relax and try to chew with my new bite and it works alot better...does that make any sense at all? In other news, I'm thinking about buying a condo...I'm really excited about it but also not looking forward to the hassle. and how long it takes. We'll see what happens.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING ALL!!!

Saw the OS today and he said not to get too comfortable with my braces cuz they would be coming off reeeaaall soon. I also got a letter from my ortho saying that I would be getting my braces removed soon, but before they remove them they need alll my money. ick. No more OS appointments till the braces come off though :-D ...I really have no idea when they will come off but originally they told me march, maybe sooner? we will see at my next appt on the 30th.

*shudder*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTpllmuKmSE

jaw still hurts, work isn't helping...only a week back and the drama is still the same. Not to mention a wonderful personal life. i'm so tired. sooooooooo tired. I still can't believe I finally had surgery and it's over, but at the same time...this isn't how life was supposed to turn out. :-(

Here's a good example

Uuummmmmm

Every time I see I have a visitor from germany I immediately think of this post

Also, I had an appt with my OS today because I've been having so much pain. I called their office on friday because I was having issues with my disability claim and kind of said "oh by the way, my jaw is killing me." The lady at the desk then put me on hold while she talked to one of the nurses and maybe Dr. Langan too. When she gets back on the phone she goes "That will take a long time to heal." *yey* so I think it must be completely normal. Then she adds; "but we want to see you a little sooner than your next appointment." My next appointment wasn't scheduled for like another month...they wanted to see me the next business day. hmmm...maybe it's not so normal after all. Either way I still don't know...he looked at me and told me to take loads of ibuprofen a day for 2 weeks and see if that works. I had this surgery to get off that stuff! :-( Hmph. it will go away. it has tooooo... :-((

It DOES have to do with surgery :-)

My finished half sleeve!

OK, so, I didn't get this tattoo just because I FINALLY got the surgery and it really has changed my life...but yes, it is the biggest reason. For me, it symbolizes overcoming obstacles even if you have to go through hell...Lotus flowers have to grow through muddy dirty water before they can finally bloom...butterflies start out as a worm before they become beautiful! Butterflies also have a much more special meaning to me but I won't get into that here. I also love the fact that I have a piece of artwork on my body for the rest of my life.

Here's my smile that i'm still getting used to...I'm still more swollen on my right side than my left.

After wearing that huge splint for 5 weeks i'm not too embarrassed of my braces anymore :-)
I just still can't get over the difference...it's a huge difference...huge change. I'm still shy, but I definately want to go out more and be social...soooo different from how i've always been. Yey!
Haha now I take TOOO MANY pictures!! I'm not afraid of the camera anymore!

The End.

This has nothing to do with my mouth

but yey!!! I'm getting my half sleeve finished tomorrow!!!

Pretty Pretty Profile

Didn't think those words would EVER apply to me

Something I forgot to write about...I'm pretty sure I should probably be a blonde. So, for the first month of brushing my teeth after surgery, I think that I don't feel the toothbrush on my teeth because of the splint or something. I realized last week after poking at all of my gums that they are all completely numb. Who doesn't realize that their entire mouth is numb? WHO?? Also, was poking around my face last night when I felt it. I FELT A SCREW. Right below my eye. Just the left one though, can't feel the right one. isn't that gross? Anyways, i'm hungry...Have a great night!

Maybe I'm just weird

but for almost a year before my surgery I didn't want to buy clothes that I thought would bring attention to me, didn't want to get my hair cut, didn't want to do my nails anymore....any clothes or makeup that I bought I told myself I wouldn't use until after the surgery. Anything to keep people from looking at me. I actually bought some clothes that I really liked and waited till after surgery to wear them. Am I the only one? Anyway, I got my splint out on wednesday (and for anyone who's wondering, like I was, it doesn't hurt! he just cuts the wires and the thing falls out and you rush to the sink to brush your nasty mouth), and now I feel like I can go out and do stuff...and I did get a pumpkin spice latte and drank it in public and it WAS awesome. I actually had one yesterday and today and possibly tomorrow :-). So yesterday was my first outing to a restaurant. Chris had gotten a birthday coupon for one free meal at texas de brazil. While I obviously can't have steak, they still had an amazing amount of delicious food for me to choose from. it was very nice. and tonight I went out to the mall with one of my best friends...she is the sweetest...and she has the same orthodontist, what are the odds lol.

I don't think that most people really understand why I had the surgery or that it was COMPLETELY medically necessary. They don't understand that it's a deformity that has to be fixed through surgery. They don't understand how major the surgery really is, or how much it affects EVERY aspect of your life. There wasn't any amount of time that I wasn't thinking about it or stressing over it. This deformity had a hand in even the smallest of decisions in my life...and I don't think people can really understand it. Not unless you experience it. This blog and connecting with people who understand has kept me sane. Thank you all so much!

For those of you that have asked, the depression is not because of the surgery. Leading up to the surgery and everything I had to go through beforehand did contribute some but was still not the cause. The surgery has helped and I'm so grateful that I had it and that everything worked out and that I seem to be healing well. so thankful.

Goodnight all!

And there was much rejoicing (and a little wine)

It's out!!!!!

This morning I got a text from my friend Jill who goes to the same ortho as me. She was at the ortho and saw a list of appointments for today and saw my name came up...and she was all like "I KNOW her!!" and all of the ladies at the office said how excited they were to see me (this is the first time they've seen me since surgery).
I think I'm definately going to get self esteem issues when I walk into a room and DON'T receive a bunch of compliments on my new face lol.

I'll post pictures of my now much smaller looking teeth later...

!!!!!!!

I'm getting my splint out tomorrow and then going straight to the orthodontist!!! I have to go straight to the orthodontist because they cut my upper archwire between my front teeth since he widened my upper jaw. I also noticed one of my brackets is no longer attached to my tooth. It makes sense that that particular tooth is the most awake and angry (although most of my teeth are very sensitive now and generally very unhappy). Pray my jaw doesn't get stuck like it has been and I can open wide enough for him to get the splint out and for the orthodontist to be able to work on me. I'M SO SCARED!
Pictures tomorrow after I get the monstrosity out!
Here is the most unflattering pictures EVER!




EEEEEEEEEEE


Here's my cute new puppy!

And his cute bunny butt!

startin to see the new me!

Has anyone gone through this surgery struggling with depression already? I know I've read alot that people become depressed after about 6 months if the braces haven't come off by then. here is some new pics and the old one just for comparison purposes. sorry about the weird lighting, I didn't feel like moving the lamp to the other side of the room. my mouth still looks weird from the front, but i still have the big ol splint in there too so we'll see next week what I look like without the splint.

:-(

I'm feeling very down and would really like a sandwich. I hate feeling depressed.

I dreamed that I was chewing on some food (mmmmm chicken...) and when I woke up my jaw hurt so bad!!

OWWW

These nerves can stop waking up now!! Go back to sleep! OOWWWW

What??

Only need to lose 5 more pounds to be this skinny again!



This was almost exactly 3 years ago...wow. And that was from halloween and everyone's allowed to dress like that for halloween. :-P
I lost 9 lbs the first week after surgery, but i'm holding steady at 100...maybe if I work out...
I'm actually craving fattening foods less and less. Don't get me wrong, I will be getting that whopper when I can actually eat one but I won't make it a habit.

a couple pictures

hmm

It's kind of funny, I've read alot of blogs where people aren't sure what they think of their new face right away. In every one of those though, I've always thought wow they look so much better now! but I find myself doing the same thing. I mean don't get me wrong, I love my new profile and the fact that my whole front teeth aren't showing...but...It's weird to change this much I guess...I know the swelling is still substantial and I will continue to look different for weeks and even months. It's still weird for my face to be around 6mm shorter though...I feel so chubby looking. I've been compared to a chinese anime cartoon. Plus my skin problems aren't helping...I've felt like i've had a sunburn...my skin is continually peeling. I did go to my grandparents on sunday where I got alot of good reviews though...my aunt said I looked 10 years older (hmmm...I'm only 24 so I seriously hope not), my grandpa looked at me and said, "You look great corey!" Awww...My grandma said she was really happy to see me and that I looked great too :-). My sister laughed at me but that's just what she does...I think tomorrow I'll fix my hair and play with my makeup...I'll take some pictures tomorrow. ok, done complaining. Thanks for listening :-)

day 15

I feel like I'm healing sooo slowly...still can't move my lips or barely talk...the splint doesn't help with that. pain in my jaw joints...it feels so awkward to bite into my splint sometimes..I feel like i'm having to posture my jaw forward to bite into the splint right, but it's getting better...I guess...has anyone else felt like that with the splint? As far as good news goes I can finally eat with a spoon (to an extent) and the easiest things to eat are things that stick to the spoon but that I don't have to chew...pumpkin pie is perfect! lol. Also was able to eat a baked potatoe. I think I'm going to end up living off of spaghetti o's, baked potatoes, pudding, and pumpkin pie!
Here's my "normal" looking x-ray

day 9...stitches out!

Chris has done a wonderful job putting up with my disgustingness and drooling and making me food. thank you and I love you!

here's my tiny stitches!


they were startin to get irritated :-(

I don't think that even once the swelling goes down that i'll be able to close my mouth still but i'm ok with that because it's such a HUGE improvement. He also said that my nose would not completely straighten out but that he did straighten the inside of it? I didn't quite understand..he said i had a deviated septum and that if i want to get it taken care of i have to wait at least six months....uhhh....no more surgery for me thank u. I can already breathe so much better through my nose and alot of swelling still has to go down. Also, still can't move my lips. :-(
Look at that tiny chin! My case must have been super bad...the surgeon always used the words "severe, really bad, really very severe, and severely bad" to describe me...and we got absolutely no fight from the insurance company, they looked at my case and threw me the money lol.


My The CHARLI!!!

Also, in the spirit of before and after pics...a Shihtzu named autumn that I groomed (I think I fixed the ear after I took the picture)


(it wasn't a full haircut or anything but it's a cute dog)

day 8

It hurts. But at least i'm not completely bedridden anymore. I stopped taking the tylenol with codeine last wednesday, I just take ibuprofen every 4 hrs or so and my antibiotic...which i will finish today! yey! The congestion has gotten better but I still have to breathe through my mouth, my nose is still pretty crooked. I actually just got most of my feeling back in my left cheek when I woke up this morning. Speaking of waking up...I probably got about 3 hours of sleep and i'm so tired. The skin on my face has been very dry and peeling..has this been an issue for anyone else? I generally don't have dry skin. Yesterday my rubber band broke, and since I don't see the surgeon until wednesday I asked Chris to call and ask if it's ok to leave the rubber bands off...he said that was fine. without the rubber bands I got to see how wide i could open (maybe 1 finger) and I was actually able to get my baby toothbrush all up inside my mouth! yey! I think I'm gonna try to go for a short walk around the neighborhood tonight...gotta wait for dark though, don't want anyone to see me a-droolin!

I look like CRAAP

but that's ok, eventually i'll get to post a pretty picture.
I'm starting to get that yellow bruising all over my neck too...and my IV hand :-(
My lovely sisters doing..obviously i don't remember this..

Before the carnage....when i could still wear clothes...

me in all my chubby-cheeked, crack ho glory

I'm hoping my nose will straighten out as the swelling goes down.
Here's my "No chin" picture...

and magically...a chin! (not magically, more like lots of blood and chopping and drugs later...)

Hopefully next time i post pictures i will look presentable...oh well though...

Home

Well, this won't be long because i get tired so easily and for some reason looking at this computer screen makes me a little nauseous.
I got to the hospital on monday at 5:30am and the surgery started (I was told) around 8:20...I was out by 7:30 so I have no idea what they did for that hour. The surgery last about 5 1/2 hours but it only seemed like a few minutes to me of course. I woke up in recovery with a nurse that was kind of rough on me... i remember I got upset when he touched my IV....so i threw up a bunch of blood on him...right when they were about to wheel me to my room :-)
Later that night, my surgeon came to check on me and I threw up a bunch of blood on him too...I felt bad about that one though, he was so nice he actually got me all cleaned up and was ordering the nurses around. I would expect a doctor to make the nurses do the dirty work but he was right there taking care of me and cleaning me up. My family got a little grossed out at that point I think...but it felt so good to get all that blood out of my stomach. I remember my dad got a little woozy when he first saw me out of surgery. I do look kind of like a frog/homeless/crack ho...I don't have button up shirts so i'm walkin around in my bikini top.
It is very uncomfortable to not be able to breathe out of your nose at all...thankfully i only have 2 rubber bands and can keep my mouth open to breathe. I have a splint in the roof of my mouth that makes it hard to swallow and everything that i try to eat gets stuck in it...and i can't clean in out. I use a turkey baster to try to flush my mouth out but it doesn't work that well...I have gotten alot of blood clots out that way though. My neck is killing me, especially when i first wake up...i think the roof of my mouth hurts the worst though. I got out of the hospital around 10:30 on tuesday night and went to the doctor for x-rays on wednesday. I cried when the lady stuck those things into my ears for the x-ray. poor lady, she felt so bad. It was so weird to see my x-rays...they looked normal (minus all the metal and my chin all up and out), i'm so used to seeing an outline that looks so abnormal and odd. Now it's normal! but it hurts! Probably the worst part for me in the hospital was the IV. it hurt SO BAD when they would put meds into it...they had to switch it from my left hand to my right wrist and it STILL HURT. What killed me though is I would be crying and the nurse would laugh and say "oh you should just feel pressure"..??? If by pressure you mean intense, burning, sharp, pain...then yes, it feels like pressure.
I'm sorry this is all over the place, i have to stop now...not feeling so good...i will post pictures later though!

Tomorrow!!

is the day!!! I'm so ready for this to be over! my stomach is in a million tiny knots. We cleaned the whole house yesterday...
i don't know what I should bring to the hospital..hmm... this time tomorrow, MORPHINE!!! gah, i'm freakin out. I keep thinking about that episode of the simpsons where moe has plastic surgery and then a wall falls on his face and it goes back to the way it was. :-(. I'm FreAKIN OUT MAN!!

Pre-Surgical appt

It was last wednesday....I found out they're going to widen my upper jaw slightly which means I get to wear a splint for 5 weeks! woohoo! :-(
He also said that when he did the practice surgery on the models that my lower jaw actually came forward alot more than he was expecting it would...which means I may not need the genioplasty. which would be nice. then we would get that $2600 back! He said he would be making that decision based on what happens in the surgery. He said the surgery would take 4 hrs, maybe a little longer.
I've been in alot of pain this week...I've had the same migraine since sunday, the ibuprofen just dulls it enough that I can get through the day...This surgery better work! 9 more days! woot!
(getting a mani pedi on tuesday and a haircut on fri!!!! yeyyyy!!! Love tips!! and I got more coming the next couple days with all my request customers coming in before I'm out of work for a while!)

blah blah blah

Last wednesday I got the last impressions I will get for at least a few months! and it wasn't bad at all like last time. Somehow last time the lady was rough enough on me that it cut the inside of my gums and caused canker sores to pop up all over. I also gagged so hard I cried. Needless to say I was anxious when it came to repeating this process. But no problems at all! not a single gag!

Had an EKG today at my doctor. I have the NICEST family doctor EVER. I actually had a nightmare one time that she retired. Shouldn't I be super old before I care that much about the doctor I see? Probably. I feel old enough.

One more pre-op appointment with my surgeon on wednesday. Only 4-5 more days left at work before I get 6 weeks off! I think I should get more. dogs hitting me in the face is already such a huge fear, I'll be a wreck when i do have to go back to work. My boss sucks, I'm pretty sure I'm developing an ulcer because of him. Oh well. at least I have 6 weeks off.

Can't wait to get chopped up!

Surgery!!

I have my 2 pre-op appointments...one in aug and the other at the beginning of sept. I think they both involve more impressions. At least one appointment I have to have impressions. I gag just thinking about it.
I can't wait to be off of work for over a month! I want to go back to school soooo bad. I miss thinking, discussing, writing, talking about and playing music, art...I miss the buildings at rollins, the teachers, the beautiful lake. I look at my old homework and marvel that I was ever that smart.

Only get one life, make the most of it!


What do you think of this haircut for after my surgery?

I'm ready for surgery!!!!!!!!!!

I have an orthodontist appointment next week. The surgeon said I would be wearing surgical wires for 6 weeks before the surgery. It will be in September! I can't wait to get this overwith!! I'm not telling the date of the surgery because I really don't want any visitors in the hospital. I'd rather have people visit me once i'm feeling better and still off work. :-) I wonder what surgical wires are?

My appointment was yesterday, they took X-rays and impressions (I almost died, those aren't fun especially with braces). He said he was going to have to see how the impressions fit together to make sure i'm ready for surgery. He said it's usually about 6 weeks after they put surgical wires on that the surgery would happen. They are supposed to call me and let me know what the plan is. I'm guessing late sept. which would be ok...then I would have time off during nice weather months. He asked me when the best time for me would be, I told him yesterday was the absolute best :-P i told him that my schedule would revolve around his schedule because I just want to get this overwith. My life is on hold. I don't even want to e-mail the teachers at rollins to ask if I can come back until after the surgery. That's all for now, hopefully they will call today.

I am just so down...I really need to get this surgery over with.  14 days till I find out.

High BP?

Since I've been so stressed out and in alot of pain, something weird has been happening.  My face turns bright red and gets hot, and my heart feels like it's racing...and now I'm nauseous alot.  The past couple times I've been to the doctor my blood pressure has been a little high, even though when I'm there I'm not usually having these symptoms.  My blood pressure used to be low from what I remember.  Are these things a sign of high bp?  How do I lower it?  I'm sure they don't like to perform surgery on people who have that...

:-(  I just got home from St. Pete where Chris will be till thursdayish for a DUI symposium.  Just me and the Charli.  :-(

:-(

He said my face might stay this way till surgery.  :-(  It hurts so bad.  :-(

Going to the orthodontist now!  Maybe he will tell me why my neck and a little bit of my face on the left side has been swollen.  It's been like that for 3 days, it's hard to talk because my jaw hurts sooo bad and I've had a headache bordering on migraine status...ibuprofen doesn't help!  

:-(

depressed

I just tried on a bunch of clothes and got a little depressed.  My life is on hold until the surgery, I'm sitting in a seemingly never ending waiting room.  I don't want to buy anything for myself because 1) I have no idea what my size will be after the whole thing is said and done, and 2) I feel guilty because I'm so medically expensive.  

    I've been wondering if my personality is going to change afterwards...I know how much this deformity has shaped my personality.  I am quiet, shy, and withdrawn.  Will I be different?  I am in so much pain all the time, I wonder how much that affects my personality?  All the medication I take now that hopefully will be unnecessary afterwards.  The scariest thing for me is that, right now, I have hope.  Hope that the pain will end.  What if it doesn't work?  What if the pain stays?  I want to cry just thinking that.  I'm so tired.  

I would love to hear from some that have gone through this.

The beginning

I've created this blog because I had a little bit of a hard time finding stories about patients who are going through the process of orthognathic surgery.  Most of the cases that I happened upon were the opposite of me, in that they were having their lower jaw reduced.  

My story starts over 10 years ago.  From the age of 12 until 16, I saw an orthodontist that needs to lose his practice for what he did to me.  My case is so severe that only upper and lower surgery would allow me to have a correct bite.  At around 14 or 15 years old, my orthodontist told my mom that I needed the orthognathic surgery in order to correct my severe overbite.   I didn't have insurance, so obviously my parents could not afford it and said that I would probably have it later in life.  At that point, the orthodontist should have just said that what he had done was all he could do without surgery and taken my braces off.  What he did next though, has had me in pain for about 10 years...and he made me think it was normal.  He had my mom sign a release saying that if the treatment he did next caused me to have TMJ, we could not sue him.  Before he did this I did not have one single symptom for TMJ.

   Once Dr. John Smith realized I was going to leave his office with an overbite, he decided to experiment on me.  He put a herbst device on me when I was almost 15 years old (they are only supposed to be used on children that are still growing, generally from the ages of 8-12).  He made the rods so long that my jaw was literally slowly dislocated.  I immediately started having severe symptoms for TMJ, and when I told him about my symptoms, he told me that it was normal.  He told me that I had TMJ and that it wasn't a big deal, and the pain was normal!  I was a kid and I didn't even know what TMJ was...so i just ignored it since it was "normal" and I didn't want to be a wimp and complain about normal pain.  I didn't have an overbite when I left his office, that's what was important to him.  A few months after he finished his "treatment" and took my braces off, my jaw slowly and unevenly popped back to where it was.  I think it's still not where it was before.  

     At the age of 22 I finally had insurance and decided to see how I would go about getting surgery.  I accidentally made an appointment with a TMJ specialist rather than an orthognathic surgeon.  The TMJ specialist took X-rays and very bluntly told me that I have advanced arthritis and showed me on the x-ray how I actually only have about half of my joint left.  Thanks Dr. John Smith!   The orthodontist that I'm seeing now would not even put me in braces until I had worn a splint for at least 6 months because he feared my jaw would shatter when put under the stress of braces and surgery.  Thanks again John Smith, we are still in debt from that stupid splint!

     So here I am in braces for the second time, waiting to find out when my surgery will be and what it will be like to not have headaches and chronic pain.

more to come!